Why I, as a Professional Artist, Will Never Host a Paint Party (But If I Did, Here’s What Would Happen)

Paint parties—where creativity goes to die, and identical sunsets are churned out like factory-made sorrow. As a professional artist, I’ve spent years honing my craft, exploring the depths of artistic expression, and challenging myself with every brushstroke. So no, I won’t be hosting a paint party anytime soon (though I have considered it, only to hear my inner voice scream in protest). But if I did? Let’s just say it would be less “wine and whimsy” and more “shadow and existential dread.” Read on, if you dare.